I am extremely frustrated everytime I face the situation where a boy/young man is given more lineance than a girl/young man for the exact same actions! This disgusts me to the core of my being. I hate it!
And I hate it even more when it happens between brothers and sisters! How does a parent decide their son’s actions are acceptable and reject their daughter for the same exact actions? How?
In the Haitian culture (and I’m sure it’s not the only culture) there is a common belief that ” Ti gason se ti kòk, ti fi se poulèt kay” meaning Boys are roosters and girls are small chicken who stays in the house. Most boys are raised with this mentality thinking everything is permitted.
That brings me to these members of my family who raised their kids just like that. Their daughter is older than their sons. However the sons have always been treated like kings. They would fight in school, and their dad would be proud telling every body he is raising no coward! One of them will tell his parents he has 3 girlfriends and they will take him to buy valentine day’s gift for all three of them and bring him to these girls place one after the other!
Whereas the Sister could have no opinion, could not get in trouble, could not talk to guys, could not have friends they dont approve of, could not go to classmate parties… basically she could not BE! She grew up with no self-esteem and suffers from anxiety , depression and all types of illnesses!
Fast Forward to today where the girl is 26, the boys are 28 and 24, and this pattern got worst! Homeboy the oldest ,got his girlfriend pregnant! He got absolutely no degree, work only to waste the money showing off, has so many debts he cant even have a bank account… But off course Dad is super proud because his offspring continues! He shares the news with everybody with such pride you would think the boy won a nobel prize.
Couple months later, the girl got pregnant for her longtime boyfriend with whom she planned on moving out, after doctors told her she could not get pregnant naturally. She has 1 associate, 2 bachelors, is working toward her masters and works 2 jobs! But off course Dad is bashing her, telling her she is shaming the family, that she could just kill him instead. He is giving her an ultimatum to get married before her cuts her off! He refused to talk about her and tells all family members that she is a shame! That as a girl she should have respected herself! But my question is was your boy respectful to this girl he got pregnant like your daughter?
Now tell me how long someone have to think to come up with such brilliantly stupid thoughts? Both your kids are in the same position, one is obviously more stable than the other, but you are bashing the girl for getting pregnant out of wedlock while congratulating the boy for knocking a girl up out of wedlock?
Does what I just wrote even make sense? I need people to understand that everybody have a different paths. Things dont have to happen in a specific order! School-college- stable job-marriage- kids, is not THE order of things! They can happen differently and someone can be as successful with either order!
On top of it, not everyone is meant for marriage, not everyone want to pursue a degree, not everyone want to have kids. But that does not made them less than someone else. Girls and boys are human, you can’t justify actions by saying ” he is a boy its no problem but she is a girl and deserve death! NO! Even worst in this situation your daughter was diagnosed with infertility but Got pregnant. Why can’t you be grateful?!
I purposely choose not to mention the mother because I believe she is without character, and approves all that her husband says. Even her maternal fiber is affected. Thus I will not spend energy on her case.
I’m just fed up with this way of thinking: guys can be as promiscuous and assholes as they can get but a girl can’t make one mistep!
I’m fed up man!