I have a problem with People constantly asking newly married women when are they getting a baby?
I’ve been married for over a year now and I’ve had this question asked to me more than the total of days I have been married. And it pisses me off!
It pisses me off to the core of my soul! It’s one thing to be asked by family members, but its another thing to be asked by acquintances and strangers!
Pregnancy and Motherhood are such delicate subjects, that I believe one should be cautious on how you introduce the subject to women. Why? Because infertility is real, women can’t necessary afford a child, and not all women want kids!
First, Fertility issues are real! They affect more people you would think! Both men and women, women younger and older than 35 years old. And you can’t tell just by looking at someone. While many of the women(couples) might wanna wait a little before expending their families, many also are trying to conceive with no success or are going through miscarriages. Thus, you might be adding more pain to someone’s pain by asking when they are gonna get pregnant!
Also, In the first years of their mariage young couples are adjusting to living together, they are working on their life projects, they want to travel, get their finance right, pay their debts, go back to school, finish their degree, get a stable job,ect. They want to be financially ready to welcome a baby. They want to be able to provide comfortably for this kid. Thus, asking them when are they gonna get pregnant is reminding them they are not where they want to be in their lives yet!
Finally, some women simply do not want children. They either want to focus on their career or simply dont have that desire to become mothers. Motherhood is not their calling and that is ok. They should not be judged nor shamed for their choice. They have the right to decide whats best for them. And we have to respect that. Constantly introducing the pregnancy talk is dismissing this person’s right to make their own decisions!
So please, avoid introducing pregnancy in your conversations with young couples! Especially the new wife! Your questions are either hurting them, frustrating them, or annoying them. Unless they talk about it with you, keep your questions and opinions to yourself. Cause if we are being honest, it is none of your business anyway!
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Thinking with Lely 