Lately I’ve found that questioning things was emotionally draining. Finding myself trying to understand a bunch of events that already occured in order to understand the reason behind them has been leaving me more anxious and stressed than anything!
I’ve been asking around and for every single person it was the same experience. Just like me they all want to understand the WHY behind things. However not all of them questioned their emotions like my sisters and I do. We are very in touch with our emotions and something tells me that’s why we often feel emotionally drained when overthinking…
But why do we need to know?! Is there a reason for us to know why a certain friend is always arguing with people? Is it necessary to know why this sister is so attracted to fuck boys and the other just want to do them? I guess there’s a reason behind all life experiences… But is knowing that reason going to change something in my life? Is knowing why I’m sick going to heal me? I dont even know if im making sense, but im questioning! ( see the pattern?)
I personnaly like to understand the reason behind emotions and events but its all assumptions. And most of the time assuming things is a recipe for disaster. But I can’t help it!
Isn’t questioning things questioning God or the universe? Isn’t wrong to question God? They say God allow things to happen in preparation of something better. Is everything happening to us going to really work for the better? Even the not so Godly things we do?
Aren’t we suppose to appreciate everything in life? The good and the bad? Isnt questioning things in life being ungrateful? Aren’t we ruining the reality when questioning things? Or at least changing it? Is the reality we’re living even real if we are able to change it with our many questions regarding what is? *sight* well, questioning things definitely keep us from appreciating the NOW… whatever….
All this is to say that I’m currently laying down , questioning every event and emotions that occured in my life for the past week or so and I’m not getting anywhere. So I have 2 options : continue to question them and depress OR embrace them and let them simply be… but then, this morning the sky is cloudy and I might just keep on thinking…
Thinking with Lely 