After a very deep meditation session last night, I started a review of my year and started cleaning my mind and heart… It will be going on until the end of the year, and I don’t know where it would take me…
This year have been the worst ever, between my health, work and relationships, I could have definitely fell into deep depression. Each one of them affected the others like a vicious circle: work affected my health (for the most part!), and my health affected some relationships (although I strongly believe another event could have done that).That’s crazy right! But yeah it did. And all this put a toll on me where I had to classify my priorities and choose which battle to fight!
Its surprising that it’s when you are at your lowest you really know who got you and you don’t. Picture this: got sick, doctor gave me a 1st diagnosis that had me crying for 2 days straight, I missed a social gathering and everybody get into their feelings, except that one friend who checked up when she learned I was sick.
Followed up with the doctor 2 weeks later, I get a worse diagnosis than the first one, it makes me sick. Spent 2hrs in the car crying in the parking lot before dragging myself home. I’m depressed. I can’t get out of the house. Same thing happens. People take it personal and decide that being sick is an “excuse not to hang out” ect. During all this time, No one but that one friend checks just to ask if im ok, whitout asking questions. I(we) am now being ostracised and no longer getting invited!
At this point I have a choice to make, my health or chasing people whom I thought were friends but obviously I don’t count for? The answer is obvious, my health first! My mental state would have suffered more than it already have. One only have so much emotional energy per day and can’t be waisting it. People will always get in their feelings! There is nothing you can do about it.
So while all my health Saga is happening, work started to become a problem to the point were my safety was concerned. Needless to say that I was overwhelmed by all this drama surrounding me. To make things worst I had some personnal issues that came up which deepen the existing gap in some of my relationships but also affected my health badly. I was scared and depressed (might still be to a certain extent). Once again I had to choose, myself or my problems? I think myself!
I hate giving people details about my life, I hate people knowing my business. I’m a super private person. And most people are just curious and want to gossip, anyways! I’m not about that life! My family would worry too much if they knew all thats going on. So what I did this year( still doing) to choose my battles properly? I prayed and meditated!
Yes I got on my knees to fight my battles! I’m one of these women. I gave everything to God and kept on praying. This year I’ve used my bible more that I’ve used it my entire life! Until today I’ve used my bible for 286 days. Sometimes 3 times a day. I needed/need to stay grounded and focus for myself.
My body is my temple, and its the only thing I own that will stay with me my entire life. I have to nourish it and take care of it. Just like I have to do with my mind….
I strongly believe in the power of energy. Both energy we put out and energy from others. We can’t just be waisting energy nor maintaining negative energy all day everyday. Its important to stay away from people and situation that generates negative energies. They drag you down and bring illness, depression, jealousy, greed, anger, fatigue and bad luck. Its also important to remove the negative energy within us. The consequences are as bad.
But If we take a step back to analyze the amount of battles that come to us daily, we’ll notice most of them are a bunch of petty stuff that will not matter in 5-10-15 years. However some are worth fighting for. And when we believe they are, we should make an effort to fight them. Having an open discussion, looking for an alternative to opposition, looking for the best solution where everyone wins.
Still, we also need to know that not all battle we fight we win. We have to learn to stop fighting and to let go. It might hurt to do so, but it could be the best solution to some battles. We’ll just have to acknowledge our feelings, understand why we feel this way, put our big girl panties on an move on.
Remember : everybody is different. People have different emotions and people see things differently, you will not agree on all and everything. We should accept these differences while we maintain our personnal boudaries.
Like JoyBell C said:
“Choose your battles wisely. After all, life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go.”
Peace and love,
Lely
Thinking with Lely 