These past weeks had me thinking a lot about the value of life. Carrying you in my womb had been quite an experience itself, but with Mr Corona, it has been intense. From self-distancing (more self-isolating) and taking all the precautions not to get that virus to Wanting to go out to be fully prepared for your arrival, it’s been rough. My hands are achy from over washing, i’m afraid to step out of the door, stores are closed, amazon is running out of diapers and wipes, you probably dont have enough clothes, nothing is going as planned. I wanted things to be perfect for you.
Then, in the middle of an anxiety attack the other day, I realized that things are perfect the way the are now. That’s how they are supposed to be. You are my perfect! Yes you! You are all I need now and I am all you need. You are growing healthy in my tummy, and have no Idea about the craziness going around, and for me that’s perfect. Life is so fragile out there, and this pandemic is making it worst. You don’t need that negativity!
The world is afraid for their lives, yet I am carrying your life inside me. I don’t think there is anything more precious than this.
I realized that most of the things I wanted for your arrival we can live without. Yes I want all the beautiful things for you, but there is even more beauty in simplicity…
Life is so simple, but I (and the world) have not taken the time to live as we should be…Time is precious, life is taken for granted, success is obsessive, busyness is a poison… This is part of the lesson I am learning while self-isolating.
And its only because of you. Because of you I have to take it slow, because of you I have to think twice, because of you I realize how precious life is, because of you life is becoming more meaningful and less superficial.
I am vowing to take the time to live more and enjoy life, whether you are in cute diapers with printed pineapples or simply white cloth diapers, whether you’re wearing a cute dress or white onesies, whether we use washcloths and water or wipes, It’s your presence that will give life it’s full meaning. Your life is so precious to me that I am now grasping the entire meaning of life on this heart! Girl it’s a revelation!
I cant wait for you to be there, but for now your life is safer inside mommy’s tummy!
Anpil lamou pou ou!